i enjoy oreos and icecream
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one time when I was about four, the 10 year old neighbour boys attacked me with water guns and when I ran away and told my mom she gave me the hose and set it to pressure wash and basically told me to finish what they started  

Excellent parenting.

(via jjsreshmi)


it must get annoying living in the south with all those banjos constantly playing 

It’s worse when u try to park your car and someone parks there horse in ur way

(via mickeygentile)



fuck attractive people

that’s the plan

(via jjsreshmi)


One time this girl really hated me and wanted to ruin my reputation or something so one day i was talking to a boy and she came up and really obnoxiously said “you know she has a crush on you right?” and he was like “man i hope so or else this is gonna get really awkward”

She fuckin told my boyfriend that i liked him

(via mickeygentile)

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